Wasting my time
by Jena Rink
Summary: But as Jude Harrison's guide to birthday busts goes, something is bound to happen. Something bad. Jommy
1. Chapter 1

Wasting my time

Jena rink

June 3, 2006

I don't own Instant Star, That belongs to The N, CTV, and Epitome

Tell me what you think!

Thanks guys!

Jena 

I kept on stopping myself mid-phone call. I'd catch myself doing the stupidest things, calling him to say I missed him, and then hanging up the phone so rapidly that I thought I'd break it. And then there was semi-cute boy. Semi-cute boy who I had just written a $50,000 check to to shut him up. Again. I felt like I was breaking down. Sure, I'd hit number one, and surprisingly was still there, and $50,000 really wasn't all that much anymore. But before, when things were normal (oh, who am I kidding, normal ended the moment I entered Instant Star), I still needed Tommy to survive. And he hadn't spoken to me, or anyone, in 8 months, 12 days, and 13 hours. Not that I was keeping track or anything. That would be stupid.

Okay, maybe I was keeping track. God, I had Tommy right now. He's like, when you get gum on your shoe and you can't get it off. Tommy is the gum on my shoe..and there's nothing I can do about it because the second I go all judo on my shoe and get the gum off with Goo-Be-Gone I'll just step in new gum….I've really got to quit with the metaphors here.

In other news, I'll be legal in exactly 12 hours. I'm finally turning the big 18 and I couldn't be more excited about it. But, as the Jude Harrison's guide to birthday busts goes, something is bound to happen. Something bad. And I don't mean Portia poking me with needles at a dress fitting, because that happened yesterday. And the dress is beautiful. Really it is. It's red, and flowing, and silk, and I've never felt more glamorous in my life then when I put it on.

I'm staring my third album today, or at least meeting with Kwest to go over what I have, to sample songs. At this point I could really just write an album called "Songs about Tommy". I hate to sound all Maroon 5, but the journal he gave me is totally full. And it's all about him. Spending the next fives months recording songs about him isn't going to put me on the road to recovery. Not even close.

"Earth to Jude" I glanced up, swallowing my gum and meeting Kwest's eyes. I waved, and went back to jotting things down, my tongue between my teeth.

"You nervous?" he asked, and I shook my head. No Kwest, of course I'm not nervous about pouring my heart out in the microphone! Come on.

"Nope," I managed, and got up, following him into the studio and pulling out a wrinkled piece of paper.

"Okay, Wasting my Time preliminary mixes," he said, starting the beat and cuing my entrance.

_You think that I'm some little girl_

_That you can throw around yeah toss and twirl_

_If you look you'll find that something has changed_

_I'm all grown up now I'm not the same/_

_Sitting waiting wishing yeah_

_Now I don't have the time_

_Hearts with your name written in them_

_Shoulda never crossed that line/_

_That girl is gone that you once knew_

_I'm over it and oh so through_

_Of lying dreaming over you_

_I was wasting my time_

_Oh you can say that you were scared baby_

_You're lying and excuses, keep driving me crazy_

_I'm running off alone again_

_I'm finding my way home again_

_Learing to live without your smile_

_At least for a while, cuz_

_That girl is gone that you once knew_

_I'm over it and oh so through_

_Of lying dreaming over you_

_I was wasting my time_

_Your eyes when all you said was goodbye_

_Just helped me to realize it was time to start anew_

_Free from your mistakes_

_Those kisses you just couldn't face_

_I'm done I'm not so young anymore_

_That girl is gone that you once knew_

_I'm sick of crying over you_

_Just shut your mouth I'm oh so through_

_of lying dreaming over you_

_I was wasting my time_

_You crossed a line_

_I was wasting my time_

It sucks. Oh god. I can see it now. Jude Harrison, hit number one and then crashed. Which was partially the truth anyways.

"That was amazing…"Kwest said, and I shrugged, leaning against the back of the stool.

"I had a lot of inspiration.." my phone rang, and I turned it over in my hands, almost dropping it. It was Tommy. I hastily shoved it back in my pocket, and did the rest of the takes on the song. Two could play the silent treatment game.

"Tomorrow then?" I questioned, and gave Kwest the thumbs up, backing out the door, bumping right into someone.

"Oh my God! Sorry…I'm such a.."I turned around, freezing in my tracks.

"Jude! You've changed so much!" as Georgia pulled me into a hug, I smiled. She always got me the most.

"What are you doing here?" Oh, that sounded bad,"Not that I'm not glad to see you or anything, it's just-"

"I have a meeting with Darius," she explained, and I nodded ,glancing at my phone again when it beeped. He'd left me a voicemail.

I'm going to ignore the message. Because Tommy, as much of a friend as he was once, isn't even an acquaintance anymore. He left me, right? I'm not being an idiot? Am i? I've got enough to worry about as it is these days. My phone buzzed again as I promised to call Georgia in the morning, and I opened it up, staring at the text, my eyes wide.

_I'm coming back. We can talk when I get there. If you'll listen._

Oh this is too much. I should have known he'd be the one to destroy the small semblance of normalcy I'd established over the last few months.

"Hey! Jude!" I glanced up to see Speid's face grinning sheepishly, and stormed off towards my apartment. I needed to write something. Something angry.

But it wouldn't come out. Nearly thirteen hours later, as I neared the first hour as a legal adult, I had nothing. And I was asleep. I didn't hear the door at first because I was in my loft, and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes. It was almost two in the morning. Who could possibly be here at two in the morning. I grumbled to myself as I heard a key in the lock, and froze, my hand on the railing.

"Hello?" the man said softly, and I flipped on the lights, wincing.

He was in my house. After 8 months he had the nerve to come here? My brain was still foggy, so I actually talked to him.

"Tommy?" I asked tiredly. I couldn't even think of a smart ass response my mind was so hazy.

"You're living here?" he asked, taking off his jacket.

"I've been here for a few months…I needed a change…"I pulled my robe tighter around me, and noticed he had bags with him.

"You were gonna stay here?" I asked him skeptically.

"You gave me a key, remember?" he said, holding it up,"Jude, can we talk?" he held up a cupcake with a candle in it, and I sighed,"Happy 18th, by the way…"he added. I really just wanted to hit him. A lot. But something was stopping me. He looked good, probably more in reach because I was finally 18.

"Tommy…"I started, and he put down his bags.

"None of the hotels in this city are open…and it's late…"he said, holding his hands up.

God he was good. Playing it all Mr. Big on me. I was breaking down, and I bit my lip. What's the worst that could happen?

"Fine.."I said shortly, and came down the rest of the stairs, holding my robe together.

"Hi…"I added, and walked past him, grabbing a bottled water out of the fridge.

He wasn't supposed to see me in my underwear. He was supposed to see me later today all dolled up in that red dress that Portia had spent ages looking for. Not makeup less with mascara tracks running down my face.

"Are you okay?" he asked me seriously, and I threw the bottle of water at him.

"Why do you care?" I shot back, walking back up the stairs. He was a jerk, with his faux hawk and his gorgeous eyes.

"You seriously thought you could just waltz back into my life Quincy? And that I'd instantly forgive you? I'm not that girl…"I disrobed, putting on a tank and shorts, fully aware he was watching me, his mouth agape. This was too much fun.

"What?" I asked him innocently, and grabbed the cupcake from his hand, sitting on my bed and unwrapping it,"Thanks for the cupcake by the way…"I added, and ignored him, eating it slowly to distract myself.

"Jude, what is this?" I lost it.

"This is me ignoring you, just like you ignored my phone calls, and my voicemails, and me screaming at you when you left, Quincy…" my voice broke. Damn it, not was crying again. This sucked. And then he hugged me, smoothing my hair back.

"I'm not going to leave again," I snorted, and glanced over at him once I'd scooted to the other edge of the bed.

"How can I trust that? How can I trust you?" I burst out,"You're like this book that's full of invisible ink and I have no idea how to get the key…you're impossible to read!" Damn me and my metaphors. He just stared at me.

"Well what if I gave you the key?" he said slowly, and I glanced up.

_That's it for now. _

_Tell me if you want more_

_Thanks a ton guys!_

_Jena_


	2. The Key

Wasting my time-

Jena Rink-

Chapter Two- The Key

HEY! It's been forever. Sorry! I've been sick…I had to go to the ER last weekend…among other things…but enjoy!

And thanks for sticking with it!

July 15, 2006

"The Key?" I asked skeptically, my eyes meeting his. We were still on the bed, Tommy's gaze piercing daggers into me. I hated that he had this affect on me. I'd never been more nervous in my life, except for when we kissed after the wrap of my second album and I fled the room like a bat out of hell.

"Jude…" I was going to flee again. I could feel it.

"I have to get primped by your ex-wife all tomorrow morning Tommy, and she's not going to appreciate the dark circles…"I whispered,"You can sleep on the couch…" I said softly, glancing at my hands.

"I need to tell you something…"he pressed, and I sighed, turning around to stare at the curtain separating my room from my bathroom.

"I need to sleep…"I responded, shivering unconsciously at the cold. I really hated Canada in the winter, or even the fall. It was freezing, and this apartment definitely lacked necessary things sometimes. Like a heater.

"You're shaking…"he observed softly, his hand reaching out to brush my shoulder, and I closed my eyes tightly when he hugged me from behind, resting his head on my shoulder.

"Please don't shut me out, Jude…"he said into my ear, his breath tickling my skin and his arms resting on my stomach.

"Maybe you can stay up here…"I finally consented, and he nodded against me, pulling away and glancing at his suitcase, which was downstairs.

"Thank you…"he said, as I got up and slid under the covers, facing the wall. I heard him shed his pants and jacket, climbing into bed with me, keeping a safe distance between us.

"Does anyone else know you're back?" I finally asked, facing the ceiling. I felt like we were in a romantic comedy or something, both of us far away from each other on the bed, practically falling off the ends because we were afraid we'd touch and something would happen.

"I wanted you to know first…I had a cab drop me off…"he said honestly, and I hugged my arms around my middle, too nervous to look at him, my eyes focused on the ceiling.

"The skylights nice.."he observed, his teeth chattering a little, and I laughed softly.

"You're laughing at me?" he questioned wryly, and I stifled my giggling a little, chancing a glance at him. His eyes were focused on me.

"You're wondering how I survive in here aren't you?" I asked him, shivering still from the cold. Or possibly finally being in a bed with Quincy, which had been one of my fantasies for as long as I could remember.

"It's like the tundra…"he finally said,"And I'm freezing…"

"You want me to get another blanket?" I asked him skeptically, rolling over and laying on my side, staring at him.

"No…"he said, and reached his hand out, grabbing mine lightly in his,"Body heat is the best warmth…"

Oh he was not pulling that on me…okay maybe he was…I felt my back collide with his chest, and sighed softly, already warming up. It was totally working. He smelled the same. I closed my eyes, leaning back into his chest, and felt the steady thump of his heart.

"Better?" I got out, and he nodded.

"Absolutely…I'll see you in the morning, girl…"he said lightly, resting his chin on my shoulder. And as much as I didn't want to, the steady thump of his heart started to lull me to sleep, my eyes sliding shut.

_I'm sorry it's so short…I'm working on this whole date of a lifetime scenario for Jude and Tommy in I don't know where the next road goes…I swear I'll post more soon! Probably next Saturday or the one after…LOVE YOU ALL!_

_Jena_


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